Author: thechrisball

Week 1

Sundays are tricky because the subway doesn’t start running until 8 and I need to be at St James Campus by 8:30. So I take the bus and manage to get my way to Sherbourne and Dundas for 8am and walk from there. It’s not a great walk. I haven’t been in that part of town in a while and it’s bleak.

I arrive with 5min to spare and find a table. It’s a full class and it’s made up of a broad cross section of people.

The Chef gets started with course overview, safety, general guidelines and rules. She tells us about the equipment we’ll need. I had most of it purchased last week but intend to pickup a few more things this week. She teaches us how to make some stock (Brown, Chicken, Fish, and Veggie/Dashi). We get a break and a chance to go pickup our uniforms from the book store.

The second half of the class was a demo on some salads. We get a chance to go off and make a basic lentil salad and not overly interesting, but it’s our first chance to really cook. I whip through mine and try and help a few folks struggling at my table.

Finished up a bit early and checked in with the Chef and went home.

Overall I enjoyed the day. B said that I’m probably going to be a bit bored with this class since I cook already. Scanning the syllabus there isn’t anything there that I can’t do already with the notable exception of egg cookery. I don’t eat eggs, so I never bothered to learn how to cook them. I am looking forward to the other courses that GB offers.

I keep reading this quote and I find myself gravitating to spending the next 4ish years avoiding social media, avoiding the news, and just cooking food, exercising, hanging with my family/friends and enjoying art. Wouldn’t that be the best way to rebel at this shabby world. 

“Is reading Faulkner going to make you a better person? Absolutely not,” … “but the whole universe wants you to be optimized, productive, monetized. And sitting around and reading a work of art when it is not your job to do so is a rebellious act that insists I am a human being, actually, and not a cog, not a good little worker, not a cozy girl eating the slop that is fed to me. And developing the parts of myself that are unproductive, ugly, and a drain on resources is a beautiful act of rebellion.” – Jessa Crispin

It’s time for a course correction and September with its “New Beginnings” vibe is as good a place to begin again as any.

For me this particular restart is going to be focused on getting back to my healthy weight and improving my gym performance after a year where things never quite got back on track. Sneaking in those New Year resolutions by year end still counts right?

My clothes were fitting tight when I went on vacation and I faced the reckoning when I got home. I weighed in at 212lbs which is the heaviest I’ve been in a very long time. So!

Going to fast track as much fat loss as I can over the next 8 weeks. I know that quick results aren’t long term effective, but I need to get this weight off as fast as I can so I can start rebuilding again. Doing Low Carb/Ketogenic diet. I don’t stress too much if my carbs are in that 30-40grams range, but if I can keep them lower most days that will be good. Nothing really between now and late September, and then October gets trickier (Thanksgiving, Anniversary, etc) but I hope to have a good amount of work done by then.

The other crucial part of this journey is getting back to Crossfit and regular training. First day back was today. Soreness incoming.

Once upon a time there was a princess named Suzannah who more than anything in the world wanted a pony.

Her Mom and Dad told her:

“No! Ponies are messy. Ponies are noisy and PONIES ARE SMELLY!”

So one day when her Mom and Dad were not paying attention she went to town and traded some of the crown jewels for a pony.

She asked the farmer:

“Is this Pony Messy?” the farmer said “No”. She asked “Is this pony Noisy” and the farmer said “NO”. She asked “Is this pony smelly?” and the farmer said “WEEEEELLLLLLLLL…..” but before he could answer she said “I love her I love her I will take her.”

She took her pony home and hid her in the far back stable under the tallest tower. She snuck the pony snacks.

The Pony was NOT noisy. The Pony was not Messy. But…the pony was VERY VERY FARTY. So Farty that one day the King and Queen said: “SNIFF SNIFF what is that smell?” and Princess Suzannah said: “NOTHING!” and the next day she went to see the wizard who gave her a very good idea.

So she tied a balloon to the pony’s bum and twice a day would run to remove the ballon filled with farts. The Wizard told her to take the balloon far away and pop it and she did that for two whole days but then got tired of running far away. So she hid them in a giant storage room in the tower.

Once upon a time a Princess named Suzannah had a brother named Thomas who more than anything in the world wanted a pet porcupine.

His Mom and Dad said “No! Porcupines are grumpy! Porcupines are curious! and PORCUPINES ARE POINT!”

So one day when his Mom and Dad were not paying attention he went to town and traded some of the crown jewels for a porcupine.

He asked the farmer

“Is this Porcupine grumpy?” and the farmer said “Yes”. He asked “Is this porcupine curious?” and the farmer said “Yes” and he asked “Is this porcupine pointy?” and the farmer said “WEEEEELLLLLLLLL…..” but before he could answer he said “I love him I love him I will take him.”

He took his porcupine home and hid him in a playroom across from the tower where the pony was hiding.

Thomas loved his porcupine very much and was always very careful to lock the door and give him a very careful kiss good night before leaving him. The first night he heard some sounds that sounded like:

SQUEEEEEAAAAK and SQUEEEEEAKKKKK.

This made the porcupine very grumpy. What is that strange noise!

The second night he heard a noise that sounded like:

SQUEEEEEAAAAK and SQUEEEEEAKKKKK

This made the porcupine very grumpy and very curious. He wanted to find out what was making all that noise.

Then the third night he heard a noise that sounded like:

SQUEEEEEAAAAK and SQUEEEEEAKKKKK

The porcupine was very grumpy, very curious, and very pointy. He decided to go explore and find the source of the funny noise.

He followed the SQUEEEEEAAAAK and SQUEEEEEAKKKKK and crept out from the room and down the hall. The squeaking had stopped and he heard Princess Suzannah tip-toeing down the hall holding two big round red balloons.

He followed her down the hall and watched her put the balloons in a closet full of big round red balloons and close the door quickly.

The porcupine had never seen a balloon before and he wanted to play with these colourful toys. So he opened the door and…..

POP POP POP POP POP POP POP and…….

PEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW

The farts spread all over the kingdom. No one had ever smelled such terrible smells before. People panicked!

Princess Suzannah was quietly reading when she decided to stick her nose outside for some lovely fresh air. The air was NOT fresh. “Oh No! I know what happened!” said Princess Suzannah. She was very smart and came up with an idea.

She ran to her Mom and Dad and said “Mom and Dad can I have a vacuum cleaner?” and her Mom and Dad said “NO NO NO. Vacuums are dirty and ugly and loud.”

Princess Suzannah ran down to the general store and bought a vacuum and started sucking up all the farts.

Prince Thomas was loudly playing and decided he decided to stick his nose outside for some lovely fresh air. The air was NOT fresh. “OH No! I know what happened!” said Prince Thomas. He was very smart and came up with an idea.

He ran to his Mom and Dad and said “Mom and Dad can I have a giant bottle of perfume?” and his Mom and Dad said “NO NO NO. Giant perfume bottles are big and expensive and breakable.”

Prince Thomas ran down to the general store and bought a giant bottle of perfume and started to squirt it out into the air.

Soon the kingdom started to smell better and Suzannah and Thomas were exhausted from vacuuming and spraying all day. They slept till 9 o’clock the next morning. Princess Suzannah decided to keep the vacuum on her pony’s bum and Prince Thomas decided to wrap his porcupine in bubble wrap whenever he became too curious.

The End.

“What is wrong with Cryan and most people, said Byrne, is that they do not spend sufficient time in bed. When a man sleeps, he is steeped and lost in a limp toneless happiness: awake he is restless, tortured by his body and the illusion of existence.

Why have men spent the centuries seeking to overcome the awakened body? Put it to sleep, that is a better way. Let it serve only to turn the sleeping soul over, to change the blood-stream and thus make possible a deeper and more refined sleep.

I agree, I said.

We must invert our conception of repose and activity, he continued. We should not sleep to recover the energy expended when awake but rather wake occasionally to defecate the unwanted energy that sleep engenders. This might be done quickly – a five-mile race at full tilt around the town and then back to bed and the kingdom of the shadows.

You’re a terrible man for the blankets, said Kerrigan.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I love my bed, said Bymne, She was my first friend, my foster-mother, my dearest comforter…
He paused and drank.
Her warmth, he continued, kept me alive when my mother bore me. She still nurtures me, yielding without stint the parturition of her cosy womb. She will nurse me gently in my last hour and faithfully hold my cold body when I am dead. She will look bereaved when I am gone.
This speech did not please us, bringing to each of us our last personal end. We tittered in cynical fashion.”

IT security person: So that’s what you need to do to get this working.

Me: Okay if I get you the answer in the next hour how long until you can resolve the problem?

ITSecPerson: Oooh, well I mean the week is just about over….So maybe next week?

Me: It is TUESDAY AT 11:14AM….

ITSecPerson: Yeeeaaahhh but I mean…

Me: We’re not even half way through yet?

ITSecPerson: …..

Tom: When I’m a grownup I’m going to have 100 corgis

Me: Oh yeah?

Tom: But first I’ll get 1. Then 2. Then 3…then 5

Me: What about 4?

Tom: I’ll get two at a time from then on….

1. It’s easier to say the thing rather than think about how to say it.

2. If it’s funny, it’s funny. 

3. Handwrite in your journal, handwrite your outline, and handwrite your edits but type the manuscript. If you can touch-type it is the fastest way to get your brain on paper. 

4. It [could probably] should be [a bit] shorter.

5. It’s just a first draft so get it out and write the hell out of it.

6. Movie soundtracks make for great writing soundtracks. Mad Max Fury Road whips. 

7. The more fluid you drink the better. 

8. Every writing tool is fine. Don’t be fiddly. 

9. Sure a writing shack overlooking the ocean would be great, but right now you’ve got a kitchen table stacked with debris, just write.

10. It’s perfect in your mind so you don’t write it down because it will be imperfect on the page. Push through and get it down and polish it or throw it away and do another. 

I listened to a lot of music this year according to Spotify Wrapped, my summary was borked by my kid’s listening habits (though I did listen to a lot of Taylor on my own too).

First, a few that I’ve listened to and are ‘fine’.
– Higher by Chris Stapleton
– History Books by The Gaslight Anthem
– Volcano by Jungle

Favourite Albums of 2023

1. Stand in the Joy by William Prince. Oh man, I love this guys voice so much. Seeing him in concert next year at Massey.
2. GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo. I love some good angsty girl pop…
3. Where the Angels Fall by The Cat Empire. I think my favourite concert of this year and this was a big boombastic album that was great to cook to.
4. The Loveliest/Loneliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen. Z and I could agree on CRJ and TS this year, I’m hoping for many more years of sympatico music taste.
5. Friendship – Surprise Chef. While not quite “LoFi Beats to Study To” this one got put on a lot as background tunes on the subway and while reading and working.
6. The Winding Way by The Teskey Brothers. I do love that blue eyed soul and this was another good album.
7. The Age of Pleasure by Janelle Monae. Sexy and fun.
8. Weathervanes by Jason Isbell. Not his strongest album but still a worthy listen.
9. That! Feels Good! by Jessie Ware – Another sexy fun disco vibed album. Pearls was my jam this year!
10. Endless Summer Vacation by Miley Cyrus. Lot of Miley this year, and this album had some songs in heavy rotation.
11. Neo-Romance by Alexandra Streliski. Beautiful piano, this might be one of my most listened to albums. Need to get this on vinyl.
12. serenades by Jean-Michel Blais. Lot of neo-classical this year, am I getting old or something?

We were debating our all-time Top 10 the other day and whether Taylor Swift should make it.

It got me to thinking about my top 10 and I decided to put the limit of Of My Time. This means it has to be an artist that has the bulk of their best work released during the time I have been listening to music, i.e. the last 30 years. I didn’t really get into music until I was 12 or 13.

I listen to a lot of music across a lot of genres across a lot of time periods so this is a pretty good challenge. So here goes.

1. Radiohead – This was an easy one. I’ve seen them live 3 times. “The Bends”, “OK Computer”, and “In Rainbows” are all top tier amazing albums. The rest of the discography is amazing to very good. Really only “King of Limbs” didn’t land for me.
2. Oasis – For me, this is an easy one as well. They almost don’t get in based on my At Least 3 Legendary Albums. “Definitely Maybe”, “What’s the Story”, and “The Masterplan” are all amazing. “Be Here Now” is bloated but has it’s moments. I really liked “Dig Out Your Soul”. They also earn some points for their solo work; with Noel putting out some decent stuff and I really liked Liam’s “C’mon You Know” album. Plus, they’re hilarious.
3. The Hold Steady – Introduced to me thanks to Andrew Cowan. “Boys and Girls in America” got me in. “Separation Sunday” and “Stay Positive” complete the requisite 3 albums. I’ve liked every album they’ve put out and they’re a blast to see live.
4. The Weakerthans – Another Andrew Cowan introduction. Only four albums but all of them are amazing. Probably my favorite lyricist and “Reconstruction Site” is my favourite album. They also produced the best band shirt of all time with the mustard yellow “Winnipeg” shirt. Miss that shirt a lot.
5. Taylor Swift – Yeah, she made it. 10 solid albums with 5 of them being excellent, and the others having at least a good single or 2.
6. Vampire Weekend – Only four albums but all of them are really really good. I listen to them a lot when the weather starts to get nice.
7. Kacey Musgraves – I like every one of her albums. “Golden Hour” was amazing. I even like her slightly cringey Christmas album.
8. Jason Isbell – “Southeastern”, “Something More Than Free”, “Reunions” are all amazing. “Georgia Blue” has some banging covers (Nightswimming! Cross Bones Style! Midnight Train to Georgia) One of the best concerts I’ve ever seen.
9. Robyn – I love Robyn and this one is MAAAYBE a stretch since “Bodytalk” is sort of a series of albums then compiled into a single album. I also love “Robyn” and I thought “Honey” was pretty good. Her earlier stuff is just top notch European dance/pop music with at least a few good singles to dance to. I love Robyn.
10. Weezer – That SNL sketch makes a lot of Good Points.. STILL! “Blue Album” & “Pinkerton” shaped my entire music listening life. “Green Album”, “Maladroit”, “Make Believe” are pretty good and across the rest of them there are at least a few singles from each that if we smashed them together would make for at least another two great albums.

Honorable Mentions

This artists and bands are just outside of the top 10 for me for any of the following reasons:

1. Not enough track record: So my threshold for Top 10 inclusion was 3 albums in legendary status and/or enough additional support material.
2. Amazing but just not quite better than the ones listed.
3. Amazing but their artist output was before my time, even if their work after was maybe just as good. AKA The “Tom Petty” award.

• The Beths: Three amazing albums I’ve listened to constantly. Will likely crack the top 10 eventually.
• The Tragically Hip: Controversy! I didn’t really like The Hip till I was in university. I won’t really listen to individual albums of theirs, but instead to playlists, or to their live album.
• Barenaked Ladies: Ooof. This was was tough. My first favourite band. My first concert. I loved “Gordon”, “Maybe you should drive”, and “Born on a Pirate Ship”. I really liked “Stunt”, “Maroon”, and they started to lose me at “Everything to Everyone” and I don’t think they had another album after that that ever listened to. I also don’t think I’ve returned to them as much as the other artists on this list. The song “Break your Heart” got me through a lot of breakups though.
• Tom Petty: Tough to leave off the list but I’m counting his early work as not in my time. “Full Moon Fever” and “Wildflowers” are amazing and there is enough stuff across his other albums to make it really close.
• Chris Stapleton: Three really good albums between “Traveller”, “From a Room” and “Starting Over”.
• Green Day: VERY tough to leave off. I listened to a ton of Green Day over the years.
• Beck: Saw him on the “Odelay” tour and he hits so many different points with his albums between Funk and Folk. “Colors” was really good!
• Sarah Harmer: Underrated. One of my favourite vocalists of all time. “I’m a mountain” is one of my most played albums ever.
• Brad Paisley: My gateway drug to country music. Corny and funny just like me. His ballads still make me tear up.
• The Decemberists – Just missed out. “The Crane Wife”, “The Hazards of Love”, and “The King is Dead” got huge playtime. I probably listen to them less now because I rarely have time to put on a big proggy album.
• Fiona Apple – Very close to cracking the top ten. This is a hard activity because her stuff is fantastic but requires a certain sort of mood to invoke me to put on her albums.